WUNRN
Women’s Feature Service - http://www.wfsnews.org/
India – Disabled Woman’s Story of
Inspiration, Determination.
Delhi (Women’s Feature Service) – As a child
Malavika Iyer used to roam around the residential colony in Bikaner in
Rajasthan, where she lived with her parents and elder sister, climbing trees,
playing with the boys in the neighbourhood, taking swimming and skating
lessons. All that changed the day she came back home with a grenade she had
found lying on the street after a local ammunition factory had caught fire and
scattered the ammo around. Although everyone at home assumed it was a diffused
grenade after it blew up one afternoon Malavika Iyer’s life was never the same
again.
In the explosion she lost both her arms and would have
even lost her legs had she not been rushed to Jaipur for medical attention.
Despite endless rounds of hospital visits and painful corrective surgeries Iyer
has overcome her disabilities and put her life back together in a manner that
is truly inspiring.
Excerpted from Gifted:
Inspiring Stories of People With Disabilities by Sudha Menon and V.R.
Feroze, Published by Random House.
“Over the years, I have been invited to a lot of
schools and colleges as a motivational speaker to talk about my life. Many
people find my journey inspiring; I, myself, think each of us need some
inspiration in our lives. I was once at a hospital when a girl seated near me
introduced herself and said she had seen me on television the week before. I
was astonished when she started crying and told me that she was in the middle
of a stand-off with her family and was frustrated because she was dependent on
them. Then she firmly wiped her eyes clean and said that she no longer felt
afraid. 'If you have lost both your hands and have achieved so much despite
that, why should I feel scared or vulnerable? I am able-bodied and will make my
own life,' she said.
I often tell people that life is so short that it is a
crime not to maximize that time. Before the accident, I was a trained Kathak
dancer and missed it terribly in the years that I was incapacitated. Today,
I've gone back to dancing, the only difference being that I now do western
forms of dancing that do not require extensive use of arms like they do in
Kathak. I can't dance with as much ease as before but I am happy to be dancing
because I think it is in my blood.
Since I was bedridden for such a long time, I was able
to introspect and think about my life and in that process, I discovered a
liking for writing poetry. This just goes to show that everything in our life
can be converted into an opportunity. You just have to inculcate the right
attitude. My mother never raised me differently from my elder sister and never
gave me the luxury of pity. With her stem attitude, she made sure I was
independent and self-reliant, and I am glad she did that because pity is a
dangerous thing. It makes you crave it and makes you dependent on someone to do
your stuff for you.
It is my self-reliant and independent stance that also
brought me close to the man who I will marry in a couple of years. I met him on
a social networking site and our friendship carried on for a long time before
we met face to face and found that we wanted to be together forever. When I
announced that I had a boyfriend who I wanted to marry, the first question
almost everyone asked me was if he was also disabled like me. It took me a long
time to convince them it is perfectly possible for a differently-abled person
to fall in love and marry somebody who is normally-abled and vice versa. I am
blessed to have met a man whose family took to me instantly.
In the years to come, I want to explore a career in
counselling because I think my own experiences and the field work stints have
made me a more sensitive person. My stint with the Schizophrenia Research
Foundation (SCARF) left a deep impression on me because I realized how
disadvantaged patients suffering from the condition are. At some point I would
love to work in that space, too.
Right now, I am involved in a project that is,
literally, ‘right up my sleeve’. For years, I have struggled to find readymade
clothes in store that fit my prosthetic arm, but to no avail. People who use
prosthetic arms or legs know that the sockets are bulky and need roomier
sleeves to fit properly. At some point, I gave up, and mom and I started
designing and tailoring my own clothes so that I could feel elegant with my
prosthetic arm. I have always had an interest in fashion and I am now helping
in a project started by the National Institute of Fashion Technology and
Ability Foundation to design clothes for the disabled. I am doubling as their
model and also a consultant who is helping them understand that it is not just
about designing practical clothes-those with disability want to wear clothes
that make them look good, too!
At every step along the way, my life has been about
pushing myself to my limits and each time, I have discovered new strengths and
talents within me. My biggest mission when I started walking after my accident
was to climb the stairs up to my house. At one time, it was as formidable a
task as climbing a mountain but today, I am able to run up the whole staircase.
The key is to stay inspired and motivated. A few months ago, I went on a 3 km
trek in Ooty and even though my legs hurt a lot and kept me in bed for an
entire day afterwards, I enjoyed the experience.
Though I have an electronic hand, it can't do
everything for me. I use it to write, when I go out in public, and for cosmetic
purpose. Everything else I do with my real hands. Even if they are just stubs,
I can type very easily with them. In fact, I have typed my entire MPhil thesis
with them. ...
Many a time people ask me what inspires me. I am
inspired by people who treat me just the same way they treat normally-abled
people. I want all of us to understand that the moment you treat us
differently, it is shutting us out of your life completely. The
differently-abled don’t need sympathy; they just need to be in a space where
they are not judged by others or measured by societal perceptions of who they
are and what they are capable of.
My own motto about life is very simple. Fight and you will survive, surrender and you will be wiped out."