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Syria - Some Mothers Seek Asylum Alone -
Later to Bring Families – Stories - Courage
Fadia
Al-Khatib, mother of five, travelled to Germany by herself. Photograph courtesy
of German photographer Corinna Mehl.
By Riham
Alkousaa* of Germany – March 19, 2015
Fadia
Al-Khatib, a mother of five, came to Germany by herself. The 44-year-old Syrian
woman and her husband decided that she would seek asylum first and then apply
to bring her family over. Hundreds of Syrian women are making similar
decisions, risking their lives for a chance at a new life. According to an
Amnesty International report issued in December 2014, Germany and Sweden
together have received 96,500 new Syrian asylum applications in the last three
years, representing 64 percent of all such applications in the EU.
“A
quarter of the newcomers from Syria and Iraq are women who came on their
own," estimates Hacub Sahinian, a Syrian Armenian priest who spends hours
each day helping Syrian families at the refugee transit camp in Friedland,
Germany. "Men have to stay with the kids because they can protect them
more."
"Syrian
women, especially Muslim women," Hacub Sahinian notes, "do not travel
alone." But circumstances are changing traditions and Hacub has met women
who have left their children with friends or relatives and travelled to Germany
alone after their husbands were killed or arrested.
“I was
the one who had to leave," Fadia explains. “We lost our house in Harasta,
outside of Damascus. I lost my job as a teacher and if my husband left we would
have had no means of supporting our family.” Fadia's husband works as an
electrician for the equivalent of $150 USD a month, which, Fadia adds, "is
hardly enough to support six family members in Damascus.”
When I
hear Syrian women’s stories, I realize how lucky I am. For me the trip was
easy. I had a regular visa to join a journalistic fellowship with the
Goethe-Institut, a German cultural institute that encourages inter cultural
exchange. But, it is not that easy for most Syrian women.
The
Syrian refugees who make it to Germany and Sweden are the minority. In total,
more than 10 million Syrians, or 45 percent of the country’s population, are
estimated to have been forced from their homes due to the conflict. Of those,
6.5 million are displaced within Syria and approximately 4 million people have
sought refuge in other countries. According to a November 2014 report released
by the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs
(UNOCHA), 3.8 million Syrians - or 95 percent - are now in just five host
countries: Turkey, Lebanon, Jordan, Iraq and Egypt.
Fadia
arrived in Germany in August 2014 after her visa for Spain expired. She had
gone to Spain to join her brother, a Spanish citizen, but could not find work
because she could not speak Spanish. Since refugees in Spain are not offered
the same support starting out as in Germany and Sweden, she applied for
humanitarian asylum status at the Friedland camp.
“It’s
been seven months since I saw my kids. I know that this will come to a good
end, but I miss them so much.” Fadia’s eyes fill with tears as she talks about
her family. She spends more than three hours a day on the Internet with them
and is learning German and taking the required steps to bring her family over
to Germany.
It
generally takes six months to bring ones family to Germany after receiving
formal refugee status. The procedure includes two interviews with the
Ausländerbehörde, the Foreigners' Registration Office.
During
the three months May AboAnaaj, 34, waited at Bramche camp in lower Saxony for
her first Ausländerbehörde interview she could hardly walk. Carrying her
groceries was a daily struggle. May's back problems stem from her kidnapping in
2012 while taking a taxi from the market to her home in Damascus. Her
kidnappers beat her and demanded her husband pay 1 million Syrian pounds, the
equivalent of $9,000 USD, for her release. May was unable to identify her
kidnappers or to which party they were affiliated. She cannot speak openly
about what happened. Her husband borrowed money from family and friends to get
her out.
After
May’s husband paid the kidnappers, she fled with him and their two children to
Jordan. But May, a Palestinian Syrian, was not permitted to enter Jordan with
her family. According to Human Rights Watch, Jordanian authorities began
denying entry to Palestinian Syrians in April 2012, and officially declared a
non-admittance policy in January of 2013. In declaring the policy Jordanian
Prime Minister Abdullah Ensour argued that Palestinians from Syria should be
allowed to return to their places of origin in Israel and Palestine and that
“Jordan is not a place to solve Israel’s problems.”
Instead
May went to Egypt by herself. She tells me, “After two years of loneliness in
Cairo, I decided to make the risky trip from the Egyptian coast to Italy. I
went on a boat from Alexandria to Milano and we were lucky enough to reach land
after eight days at sea.” When her husband sends photos or voice clips of
Marwan, now five, May collapses. Her baby girl, now three, only knows her
mother as a green name on Whatsapp, a free, mobile messaging tool.
Travelling
alone was a challenge for May's flat mate, a mother of three who asks to remain
anonymous. The 40-year-old Kurdish woman from Afrin, near Aleppo, walked from
Turkey through Bulgaria, Serbia, and Austria to reach Munich where she applied
for asylum. The trip took 15 days and she was the only woman in a group
travelling by foot.
“I saw
men crying of cold and thirst and I stood still. We have kept in contact with
each other, and they always tell me that I inspired them to continue on the
path.” Walking so long and in such conditions led to her losing her toenails,
which took three months to grow back. She explains that she chose this route to
immigrate because of its cost, only €500 for this trek (equivalent to about
$565 USD). This is very cheap compared to how much other Syrians are paying to
be smuggled into Europe.
Depending
on the way one makes the journey, it costs between $4,000 USD for passage on a
boat crossing the Mediterranean to $12,000 USD for a forged visa and a plane ride
to a European airport, 24-year-old Nour Bouhasan tells me. Prices are not
negotiable with the smugglers since demand so far exceeds supply. Nour
travelled from Greece to Hamburg via plane.
Nearly
3000 people were shipwrecked in the Mediterranean in 2014 according to an
International Organization for Migration (IOM) report. In May's words, “At sea
it doesn't matter if a refugee is a woman or a man. We are all the same,
confronting death and our destiny.”
For these
women on their own in a totally different country, society, and culture, their
experiences are much more than a trip to Europe. “I don’t feel that I need to
tell my husband every detail about my life as I used to do,” Fadia says. “I am
more independent now.” Fadia is not just learning German but also trying to
extend her network with the German society, attending social events and
lectures to integrate the refugees into German life. For May, the long distance
relationship between her and her husband makes them “like new lovers talking to
each other all day. When you lose someone you start to feel his importance and
this is happening with us.”
Over the
past three months getting to know these women, I have heard many more stories
than I can write about. Each woman has a different story and a different way of
arriving here. But they all share the hope of building a better life in
Germany, building a future that will not be demolished easily by war. All of
the women have learned what it means to be an independent woman in a Western
country. Some women’s stories come to a close with three years of residency.
Other women are waiting. I too am waiting. Will I be able to bring my family
here?
*About the Author: Riham Alkousaa is 24-year-old Palestinian Syrian Journalist based in Berlin, Germany. She holds a BA in Faculty of Media from Damascus University. She was previously employed at Sham FM Radio in Damascus, Syria; Syria Today Magazine, and by the online magazine Aliqtisadi. Riham has been published on the website Huna Sotak and the print publication Assafire.