WUNRN
Via Empowered Women International – EWI - http://ewint.org/about-us/
http://ewint.org/jameela-alter-believe-in-yourself-pursue-your-dreams-help-others/
INDIA IMMIGRANT WOMAN IN USA, JAMEELA ALTER: ADMIST
CHALLENGES, “BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, PURSUE YOUR DREAMS, HELP OTHERS.”
Jarmila Alter with Empowered Women International Founder, Marga
Fripp
March 31,
2015 - Jameela Alter was born in Calcutta, India, during a time when everything
white and western was considered superior, simply the best. Though she
was raised a strict Muslim, her well-meaning parents sent her to a Roman
Catholic school run by Irish nuns because it “was simply the best”.
“So I grew up
learning about Allah first thing in the morning when a mullasaheb came to our
house at 7.00 a.m., and by 9.00 a.m. I was in the convent, singing hymns to the
glory of Christ. Yes, I was confused, and totally lacking in confidence.
Between my parents, the mullasaheb, and the nuns, it was never mine to question
who was right, much less make decisions for myself. All I knew was that
life was about ending up in heaven or hell, depending on what I did or did not
do…”
At seven years
old, Jameela was circumcised. It was not a barbaric rite, but a scarring
event nonetheless, an event that Jameela carefully folded into her closet of
memories, and went back to school. Fast-forward to teenage years when Jameela
showed the first signs of wanting to rebel, to run away, to go somewhere quiet
so she could think for herself and write. It did not happen. Instead,
it was arranged that she would be married by proxy to her first cousin who
lived in London. Neither of them was keen on the marriage but the
decision was out of their hands. Fortunately, it is very easy for a Muslim man
to divorce his wife by simply asking for it. Before she knew it, Jameela
was a divorcee with a British passport, without so much as having embraced the
man who was once her ‘husband’.
In the second
and third decade of Jameela’s life: with a British passport in one hand, and
the stigma of being a divorcee in the other, she broke free and travelled
overseas. Jameela got married to Steven Alter from Franklin, Pennsylvania, bore
two beautiful daughters, got her Masters in Education and trained to be a
Montessori teacher. She spent the next thirty years being a wife, mother, and
teacher who loved dabbling in arts and crafts as a hobby, but secretly had a
very low opinion of herself.
Having a
supportive husband, Jameela took a sabbatical and worked from home for an
entire year when she wrote her first novel, On Clipped Wings. Of the novel,
Jameela says it was “my dream-come-true, semi-autobiographical novel.” Soon
after she resumed teaching, she met Marga Fripp whose son, Arthur, was
Jameela’s student. Marga invited Jameela to speak about her book, to sell
some of her crafts, thus opening a new chapter in her life.
Jameela says
that “attending EWI events helped me to realize what my mother had told me many
years ago, ‘Never forget, there is always someone, somewhere, who is worse off
than you are.’ Thanks to EWI, I’ve not only come to realize how blessed and
fortunate I am, but also that I need to cast aside the shadows of those who
told me what I can and cannot do, and realize my dreams. I am about to
publish my second novel, Barwaalaas (Outsiders) knowing this for sure – my
self-concept is way better than it was a few years ago. I now believe in
myself, and for these enriching qualities I owe much to Marga Fripp for her
confidence boosters and to EWI for being instrumental in helping me realize
that I can empower myself to carve my own path on this wondrous planet.”
To other
women, Jameela has the following advice: “Believe in yourself, pursue your
dreams, help others. The more you give, the more you get. Communicate, ENJOY
the journey, and have passion and compassion – both stem from the heart. Above
all, have an attitude of gratitude. I start each morning saying a thank
you to Him-up-there… The more thanks I give, the more I realize I have so much
to be grateful for.”