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http://www.rferl.org/content/iran-marriage-society-lifestyle/26728820.html
IRAN – RISE IN COHABITATION OF UNMARRIED COUPLES - IRAN
OFFICIALS CRITICAL OF “WHITE MARRIAGE”
Two
young people chat outside the Imamzade Ismayil Mausoleum in Qazvin, Iran. (file
photo)
By Golnaz Esfandiari - December 06,
2014
Raana and Hamed have been living together for four years.
They eat together. They both contribute to the household
and share a savings account. They fight "like husbands and wives in a
registered marriage." They even wear wedding rings and introduce
themselves as a married couple.
But they're not. Because, as they also told Iranian daily
"Ebtekar" in May, they don't believe in marriage.
Their arrangement is being described in Iran as a
"white marriage," a relatively new phenomenon that is worrying
Iranian authorities.
Officials there see couples like Raana and Hamed as an
affront to the Islamic values that are preached and enforced by the state
through pressure and harassment.
On November 30, Mohammad Mohammad Golpayegani, the chief
of staff for Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, criticized
cohabitating couples as "shameful" and warned that an entire
generation would be doomed.
Golpayegani said "their halal generation will be
extinguished and they will become bastards."
He declared that "the Islamic ruler should strongly
fight this kind of life."
One day later, a deputy at Iran's Ministry of Youth
Affairs and Sports blamed the media for fueling interest in so-called white
marriages.
Mahmud Golzar allowed that some young Iranians might be
cohabitating -- following the example of Western countries -- but he added to
the semiofficial Fars news agency that such reports had not been confirmed.
If confirmed, he warned, the Islamic republic would
confront those "ominous marriages," which have "very negatives
effects" in Western countries, including the United States.
There are no reliable estimates of the number of couples
cohabitating in Iran, where sexual relations outside of marriage are punishable
by law. But public acknowledgement and warnings by officials, as well as media
reports and anecdotal evidence, suggest that a number of Iranians in major
cities have chosen cohabitation over wedlock.
Thirty-three-year-old Ali, who asked that RFE/RL not use
his real name, is an engineer by profession who lived with his former
girlfriend for several months before they broke up last year.
"We didn't want to get married but we wanted to be
together, so she moved in," he said.
He added that they cohabitated despite their parents'
disapproval.
Ali told RFE/RL that some of his friends and
acquaintances had also chosen the unmarried route over wedlock.
"We basically want to live our lives the way we
want," Ali said. "Now you can call it a white marriage or whatever
you want."
He said he was aware of the risk he was taking, adding
that "everything is risky and illegal in Iran, even partying."
A Tehran-based observer said the possible rise in
unmarried couples should be seen in the context of a new generation of Iranians
who are turning their backs on tradition and state-promoted values.
"Attitudes are changing, a number of young people
don't care about what other people might think or how the state might react,
they are becoming increasingly independent," he told RFE/RL.
A desire to be free from the responsibilities and
financial burden that come with wedding and married life appears to contribute
to the perceived trend.
Mostafa Eghlima, the head of Iran's Society of Social
Workers, believes that the so-called white marriages are similar to what
"engagements" used to be like in Iranian society.
Eghlima told "Ebtekar" that one of the main
reasons that families accept white marriages is because they want to be freed
from the burden of responsibility.
"Girls and boys [in white marriages] can easily end their
relationship without any problem and without any expectation," he said.
'Cultural Invasion'
Javid Samoudi, a psychologist based in the holy city of
Qom, home to many of Iran's senior clerics, blamed such cohabitation on
"cultural invasion," fading religious beliefs, weakening family ties,
rising economic costs, and a desire for diversity and noncommitment among young
people.
In an interview with the semiofficial ISNA news agency,
he likened white marriages to "a microbe that pollutes men's views and damages
the character and personality of women."
Sociologist Majid Abhari was quoted by Iranian media as
saying that the "growing influence" of the Internet and satellite
channels was behind white marriages.
The spread of cohabitation comes amid another headache
for Iranian authorities: a reported decline in marriages and a soaring divorce
rate.
Media reports suggest that in major cities such as
Tehran, more than 20 percent of marriages end in divorce.
Authorities have said that marriage should be encouraged
and facilitated for young people in order to preserve morals and fight the
declining birthrate.
On December 1, presidential adviser Hessamedin Ashna
noted that many people are concerned about white marriages. He suggested that
if getting married was easy and affordable, Iranians would not choose
cohabitation.
Ali, for his part, says he is not planning to get married
anytime soon. With a laugh, he says the idea of another white marriage is more
appealing to him.