WUNRN
Verse
- Woman Unfettered, Unchained, Unbound
A Rant for
Overcoming, Feeling Free, Empowered
By Shiloh Sophia
Release
me from beneath your gaze,
your
view of me, and your ways.
I
am coming out from underneath
the
layers of consciousness, not mine,
that
I have taken on without my choice,
and
those I took on by choice too,
I
release you.
I
don’t want your concept of fear
of
what will happen if I do this, or that,
or
don’t do this or that, just the right way,
to
create a desired outcome in this
world
or the next. I am not here
to
gain or earn a reward, but to live fully now,
and
in that living, express my gifts freely
without
apology of fear of repercussion.
Though
I know repercussion always comes.
I
don’t want to be in fear that
blessings
only come to those that think
and
act in “this particular way” each day.
Or
call on this concept or that one,
inside
of this system or another.
I
don’t accept your definition of beauty
or
success or right living or wrong living,
for
that matter.
These
definitions are trappings unwelcome.
No
I am not a victim.
I
have chosen willingly, but now also choose,
to
let them go.
I
don’t know very much. But I know this:
Everyone here is on a
journey
and
we have no idea whatsoever
about
the one they are on and speculating
about
why things aren’t going well
for
them and why it is,
is just another made
up
belief system in an effort to make sense
of
the madness or make ourselves feet better.
Admit
it. You don’t know why in any real
sense,
why she died of cancer or why he
had
a stroke. There is really now way to know
but
strangely we long for reason which
can
only be explained as unreasonable.
What
of the mystery my friends,
what happens if we
surrender our need to know
or
better yet, a need to be right about anything
at
all. If you don't want
to acknowledge there is
madness,
then
we have very little to talk about.
Yes,
I am shaking my beliefs free.
I
am letting go of the impact
of
“positive thinking” on the psyche
of
the soul, that just needs to mourn
however
she needs to mourn
in
whatever way for however long
and
no one needs to interpret that
for
her. She needs no interpreter.
Only
the sacred spaciousness
to unfold herself as she
sees fit.
I
don’t want to be defined by
mercury
retrograde, what is in
my
seventh house and where I am
in
my hurtle through space
and
time towards womanhood
or
where I should or shouldn’t
be
by the age of 43. Or when
gray
hairs come for you or me.
I
particularly don’t want to live behind
a concept of keeping up –
that one just bores my
muse and me
and
drives us to inactivity.
I
am sick and tired of those I serve,
who are sick, fearing the
condemnation
of
the positive thinking brigade.
What
a relief to them, when I tell them:
This
might have nothing to do with you
or
karma or your childhood or your thoughts.
This
might just be chaos and crossfire.
Wide eyed, they lay their
burden down
and
proceed with the work of healing
without the shame of personal causation
or
persecution from an invisible god.
This does not change the
power of
good
thoughts on our challenges.
But.
Every tragedy is not self induced.
I
shall think my own thoughts.
Or at least attempt it.
Here
I go:
I
choose not to live in any fear.
There
I said it out loud. Did you hear me?
I
don’t know how to do that
but
I ask this now of my soul and body:
Lead
me to the path unfettered
that
I might walk freely upon this earth.
Knowing
the nature of what is fallen here,
does
not keep me from reveling in the
majesty
of this creation called home.
I
am untieing the ribbons that
have
bound me, silk ones and
chain-linked
ones. Taboos are falling
from
my ankles as I pace
new
paths in the floorboards
through
the pressure of poetry
pressing
through me.
I
write this for me, from me
but
I hear the voices of many behind
and
beside me acknowledging
this
desire together:
a
soul unfettered.
Lift
me up, don’t weigh me down.
I will do the same for
you.
Let
us move away from seeking
approval
and into authentic expression.
Authentic
expression can set us
free
from the need to be seen
by
others because we finally see ourselves.
I
choose not to live through fear.
Though
I know fear is a present teacher.
Jesus
said perfect love casts out fear.
What
is perfect love that I may cast
fear
out from me? Or at least choose
to
live from the space of that perfect love
He
has for me. His love isn’t based on
my
performance or yours. This is not
a
performance at all. This life is a learning
of
how to lean into the great big love
that
is everpresent despite our selfishness.
I
choose to live beyond cause and effect,
there
is so much more going on here.
I
do not want to protect myself in case
of
disaster or attack because I don’t
like
the way it makes my mind work.
And
no I don’t think my fear of it or denial
of
it, creates more or less bad things
happening to me.
The
Blessed Mother also knows
there
are riddles afoot in these hills.
The Universe does respond
to me,
it is true, if I gaze at
the electron
it
also gazes at me, but it does
not
bring me harm if I fear harm
or
bring me harm to teach me a lesson.
Whoever thought that up
needs
to
come for tea so we can
set the record straight
and liberate
that
belief from the cage.
I
am writing this because
I want to walk
fearlessly.
Not
because I am not in awe of God,
(did
you know that in The Bible,
the
word fear is often translated as Awe.
Reverence
and Amazement?)
Grace
is either grace or it isn’t.
And yes, grace, is
amazing.
You cannot earn it, it is
freely
given
and it is everpresent and
all
we need to do is allow
ourselves
to enter into it.
It
is not a reward.
For
this I send up a shout of praise
to
the Most High.
And what about Faith?
Faith
isn’t something that
comes
because everything goes
as
you hoped, but something
that
is created because it doesn’t
go
as you hoped, and still
you don't lose your mind
and the crack in your
heart lets the
light
in and breaks you open.
But
really I have no idea what
faith
is. I still choose to surround
myself
with it like a garment,
having
no idea what it is
and
I am not required to know.
Don’t take on anything
here
that
doesn’t serve you. I am
neither
teacher or guide,
but
fellow traveler on earth.
A
poet perhaps.
I
am not someone who thinks
I
belong somewhere else.
I am from this earth and
this is my home.
I
refuse to feel displaced
and
fear the life to come if
we
do this or don’t do that.
I
can love this earth and work for
her
wellness without needing
fear
of her ending or mine,
as
motivation. I love because I love,
not
because fear of what will
happen,
motivates me to action.
I
am motivated through unreasonable
love
for my fellow travelers.
And
yes it is the Beloved’s love in me
that
makes my eyes to see.
This
is my rant for overcoming
overculture
and innerculture.
An
attempt through writing
to
get free of these proverbial
‘ties
that bind’. I am not calling
for
a new belief to settle in
or
a change to finally come
or
a new declaration to live by.
I
am calling, at least for a cycle:
no
belief system to define and confine
my
restless heart. That’s just it.
She
wants to roam free.
I
just want to experience
being
free from ideas
of
being or not being.
I
want to feel unfettered.
And.
I
do.