WUNRN
TEEN POWER & CONTROL WHEEL
Breaking the Cycle
Empowering Youth to End Domestic
Violence
Jealousy Does NOT Equal Love
Jealous
partner? Why, that’s a compliment, isn’t it? It means they’re really in love! The bottom line is: Jealousy is not
evidence of love.
Jealousy is a confusing
emotion, but when it comes to relationship, it is often a warning sign of an unhealthy
relationship. It stems from insecurity, and brings with it baggage like
possessiveness, anger, suspicion, manipulation and negativity. While it may be
accompanied by other complex emotions, such as anger, betrayal, humiliation or
abandonment, it all comes down to fear. And these kinds of fears are not based
in real love.
Whether it’s the fear that their partner will leave them, a lack of trust in the relationship overall or anger over an imagined or real emotional investment in someone else (meaning anger over a perceived threat to the relationship), it’s still fear. Yet those feelings are not necessarily based in reality. Often they can come from a place of losing pride, hurt ego, dependency, status, security or the fear of a change in life. The jealous partner fears someone else could take their other partner away, so it’s necessary to “keep” them away from any possible situation or person where that could happen.
“The jealous type” or acting jealous can lead to controlling and manipulative behavior or anger issues. Someone who wants to control their partner is not only demonstrating their fear of losing the relationship -- something they value -- but also exhibiting a need for power and control in the relationship overall. And that isn’t love - it’s control.
Is this jealous partner blaming their other half for how they feel? Are they humiliating them in public or in front of family and friends? Do they constantly check the other’s social networks for updates or checking in on their whereabouts? Have they told them they are forbidden from seeing or hanging out with certain people?
Do these behaviors seem like love?
Jealousy does not necessarily have the power to be destructive - that’s up to the person that feels them. If you see someone exhibiting jealous behaviors, talk to them and share how you feel, and find out why they feel that way.
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