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Daughters.com - http://www.daughters.com/article/?id=335
GIRLS & SPORTS - BELIEVING IN
HER BODY, BELIEVING IN HERSELF
By Jean Zimmerman & Gil Reavill
Erica Lewis credits sports with giving
her confidence. A heavyset girl, she played soccer in high school, and
her powerful kicks often sent the ball sailing into the opponents’ territory.
“The best part,” she says, “was that the crowd loved it when I kicked the
ball. Everyone would say, ‘Ahhh.’ Then the clapping would begin.”
Sports
helped Lewis develop satisfaction with her body, a feeling every daughter
needs. During their teen years, girls sometimes lose self-esteem.
Typically, one signal of this loss is discontent with their own bodies.
Self-Critical
Attitudes
Most
adolescent girls worry now and then about their appearance and about the
physical changes they undergo. That’s normal. But if your
daughter’s concern starts to undermine her self-assuredness, if she grimaces
each time she looks in the mirror, she may be losing touch with how to believe
in her body. Joan Brumberg, author of The
Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls, has dubbed this loss
“bad body fever.” She argues that it is far too common among our daughters.
Fortunately,
participating in sports helps girls feel more positive. Being athletic
helps your daughter see her body not merely as decorative, but as capable of
great physical feats. It changes her focus from how her body looks to
what her body can do.
Building Muscle,
Building Confidence
No
matter what her skill level, you can encourage your daughter to be active, and
you can express appreciation for her physical ability. Each time you say
something like, “It feels great to run hard, doesn’t it?” or “What a rush when
you reach the top!” you help her to focus on how good it feels to challenge her
physical limits. Each time you compliment her game, you indirectly boost
her confidence. She feels stronger inside and out when she hears you say,
“You really charged that ball today,” or “Your kick looks solid this season.”
Offering
this encouragement isn’t always easy. Some parents feel unsettled by the
sight of a grimy, sweaty, dirt-streaked daughter. Many of us grew up when
girls did not have as many sports opportunity as they have today. The
change can take some getting used to. Sometimes we struggle with a
sugar-and-spice factor, the expectation that being feminine means being
delicate and neat.
The
fastest way to overcome sugar-and-spice ideas is to watch your daughter’s
determined face when she sinks a basket or finishes a lap. She doesn’t
care how she looks or smells when she crosses the finish line. She knows
it doesn’t matter.
Working up a Sweat
Try
these ideas to increase your daughter’s confidence:
Throw overhand. Teach
your daughter the overhand throw, an element in many sports, from a tennis
serve to a volleyball spike.
Buy gear that fits. A
girl who has always been active may feel self-conscious as her body changes
shape. Growing breasts may make her feel awkward or uncomfortable when
she runs or jumps. She’ll feel more confident if you help her find a
sports bra and clothing that fits
Watch women play.
Subscribe to women’s sports magazines, and take your daughter to women’s sports
events. Be a fan of women who play hard.
Find the measure. Help your
daughter focus on how she feels when she’s active. Remind her that the
true measure of sports success comes from inside her body. If she feels
energized when she rides her bike or climbs rocks, she is building self-esteem.
Frame the action. Among the
posed and well-coifed images in your family photo gallery, include shots of
your daughter in action—sweaty, dirty, and triumphant.