WUNRN
Women News Network - WNN
Website Link Includes Video.
October 7, 2010
INDIA-KASHMIR - HALF-WIDOWS
CONSIDERED ONLY HALF IN SOCIETY
Women News Network – WNN Kashmir
correspondent, Aliya Bashir, talks with families whose husbands, brothers and
sons have disappeared during years of conflict in
Situated 55 kms (34.5 miles) south-east of
Kashmir’s capital
Haleema feels alone, but she is not alone.
She is part of the countless women who have faced the casualties of
Indo-Pakistani conflict on the border and violence inside
While authorities estimate the missing to
number approx 4,000, the APDP – Association of Disappeared Persons estimates
there are actually between 8,000 to 10,000 missing people in the region. The
number of publicly announced and reported half-widows in the
“Life has crushed me with a double
tragedy,” explains half-widow Haleema. “My husband has disappeared and I am all
alone to look after my little children, especially their education.”
It’s been five years since Haleema’s
husband left for work in the morning never to return. Since then, she has
received no news of her husband. Not even an idea of what happened to him.
Tired of tracing who she has named, ‘my beloved,’ she desperately wants to move
ahead to take care of herself and her three children. Today, Haleema has
developed a guilty wish to remarry for two reasons: economic and moral support.
The primary concern of families, “…is to
find their missing person. They move from one police station to another, from
one army camp to another and so on. It takes months and years…,” says a
detailed 2007 report by award winning
During the years of conflict in
In 2004, after spearheading numerous
campaigns to help the women of Kashmir, 30 year old Aasia Jeelani was killed as
her car, filled with fellow activists, was destroyed in a landmine explosion in
the
Trapped between years of territorial war
between
The legal system and society holds
half-widows and their children, half-orphans, tight between the boundaries of
the past and the present, where they ‘hope against hope.’
On the edge of considering remarriage,
Haleema’s in-laws have warned her against doing so. Even if she takes a stand
to go in this direction there are many societal hurdles against mothers in
Enforced disappearances in
As early as 1989, reports of enforced disappearances
began in the Jammu Kashmir regions when a group of young men took up arms
against ‘the occupation’ of the Indian government chanting pro-freedom slogans
of “Azadi”. Due to lack of proper investigation, current numbers do not show
how many people have actually disappeared. Fear of violent reprisal still
causes many disappearance cases to go undocumented.
To file a missing persons report is not
easy in
The irony is that the government relief
pension payment of 100, 000 Rs ($2,253 USD) per year is awarded only after families obtain a death
certificate from district authorities. First, they must prove that the victim was
never involved in any actions that might be interpreted as political militancy.
Senior advocate Zaffar Ahmad Shah says that
The Dissolution of The Muslim Marriage Act, originally adopted in 1939 and
approved in Jamu Kashmir in 1945, provides conditions under which a woman can
clearly be divorced. The Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, Section 2(i)
states that a widow may ask for a divorce if, “..the whereabouts of the husband
have not been known for a period of four years.” But this provision is often
ignored in
The Jammu and Kashmir Coalition of Civil
Society (JKCCS), a civil-rights group in Kashmir, has recently organized a
conference titled, ‘Half Widows and Orphans – A Way Forward in Islamic
Jurisprudence,’ bringing together Islamic scholars and international social
activists to discuss the ongoing plight of the half-widows.
“Half-widows are an issue which we have
always tried to put into the limelight as much as possible,” said JKCCS
president and human rights attorney, Pervez Imroz.
Moving from pillar to post, some relatives
of the disappeared who are more wealthy spend huge sums of money, time and
resources toward their search for missing family members. Often they realize
the system of justice will not provide proper investigation into the crimes of
the disappeared. Even some police security forces have been known to become
enemies in the search.
“It may come as no surprise that Kashmiri
women have struggled and continue to struggle against societal discrimination
and inequality. Not only have these women been subject to violence by the
police, but many have also experienced intense suffering at the hands of
militants as well as Indian security forces,” Dr. Ayesha Ray, social science
professor at Kings College, said during a recent, June 2009, conference on
human rights and civil society at Luis University, Rome, Italy.
Today, scholars have not arrived at a
consensus regarding the legal needs of half-widows. Thousands of women are
currently languishing as they continue to experience identity crisis from the
ambiguity of whether or not they are a married or non-married women. This
struggle is indicative to
“Rita Manchanda captures the situation and
agony of Kashmiri women when she states that ‘women have been the worst hit in
the war on
In a region where a majority of women have
not reached education beyond the third grade level, advocacy, empowerment and
legal knowledge are essential.
“To declare a missing person dead, a cleric
versed in Shariah (Islamic) law is needed,” says senior journalist and rights
activist Mr. Zahir-ud-Din.“But they (the clerics) seem to be in a deep slumber
and not ready to accept the (half-widows) agony.. They are not being given the
rights that they deserve in a real-sense,” continued Zahir-ud-Din. “These women
do not fall in any of the categories fixed by various NGOs, orphanages or
widows’ homes.”
“Only through a bottom up approach can true
changes be brought to
Tehmeena (name changed), who is
thirty-seven years old, is a resident in old city of
Scores of poor half-widows, who do not come
from wealthy families in Kashmir, are living in desolate conditions, suffering
psychological illnesses connected to war conflict, with a high inclination
toward committing suicide. Many have fallen prey to psychological problems that
include depression, phobia, emotional instability and post traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD).
Sadaqat Rehman, Assistant Professor in
Clinical Psychology, Government Psychiatric Hospital Srinagar, says, “Many
half-widows are coming these days who are hypersensitive and shows signs of
depression. We treat them with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
“There is glaring evidence that the
suddenness of bereavements, general and sexual violence has given an immense
rise in psychiatric and psychosomatic illnesses in people. Doctors at the government
psychiatry hospital say that women comprise more than the 60% of the patients
they examine. Experts agree, women have to bear the brunt of every tragedy.
They have to support their family after death of their husband, father, son or
brother. Their injuries are more than physical,” said Kashmiri human rights
activist Ms. Aasia Jeelani.
“Life is so suffocating. Yet, I am living
for my children,” the still grief-stricken half-widow, Haleema, laments. “The
disappearance of my husband has left me in a never-ending psychological agony.”
Association of Parents of Disappeared
Persons (APDP), founded in 1994 by women’s rights advocate Parveena Ahangar, is
supported by lawyers and human rights activists in
Organizing for more than three hundred
families of the disappeared, APDP supports family campaigns to find out the
truth about their disappeared relatives. APDP also works for an end to the
practice and international crime of enforced or involuntary
disappearance. “Our membership is spread all over
Organizing regular inter-district meetings
on the tenth of every month, APDP holds a public meeting in
“Nobody appreciated my decision,” continued
now ‘former half-widow,’ Tehmeena, as she talks about her remarriage. “All
waves were against me. But I had to look after my two children. People pass
very hurtful comments and nobody helps in the tough times,” she said with a
gentle smile and honesty.
For many half-widows, the constant dilemma
– whether to remarry or not is juggled with a sense of loyalty and love for
their missing husband. The considerations include their children also, whose
very survival is a herculean task for single mothers who struggle with life,
education for their children and their own money making efforts.
As half-widows face hard and stressful
‘lives in limbo,’ all opportunities are desperately few and far between. “The
world must know how we grieve,” adds rights advocate and founder of APDP,
Parveena Ahangar.
“I work with women whose husbands and sons have disappeared and who have no financial support and I feel really helpless,” said slain human rights and women’s rights activist Aasia Jeelana. “When I hear the story, it brings tears to my eyes… After 10 years they still don’t know the whereabouts of their husbands or sons.”
Scroll Down Website Link to Video: http://womennewsnetwork.net/2010/10/07/kashmirs-half-widows-considered-only-half-in-society/