Iraq - Women's Realities in Today's Iraq

At the same time as many women increase participation in the political sector-Iraq's Parliament and local councils are required to have 25% women representation-thousands more are experiencing brutal hardship and extreme poverty. There are now more destitute women in Iraq than ever before-estimates of the number of war widows range from one to three million. These and other socially and economically marginalized women are vulnerable and at high risk of trafficking, organized and forced prostitution, polygamy, domestic violence, and being recruited as suicide bombers, something that the society is still trying to process and understand.

In a single day's journey around Baghdad, one can see all these many and conflicting realities of Iraqi women-that was my day today. I arrive at Women for Women International's office, I see a woman in her fifties waiting for me to interview her for a job at Women for Women International. She had been a social worker for 25 years, worked in Sadr City throughout most of her professional career and is passionate and loving about the people in Sadr city, never questioning the fact that she is a "Sunni" woman working in a "Shia" neighborhood. She tells me, "That was the old Iraq. We worked, drove, traveled, went to universities, to parties, no one questioned us. Today, I find it hard to get my spirit back. I saw too many dead bodies and too much suffering. It was worse than the war with Iran, worse than the first Gulf War, worse even than the last Gulf War is our own civil war. That's when I stopped leaving my home. I don't know how to make sense of things anymore," she explains with a sigh.

Leaving the office, I met a friend for lunch. She is an activist for whom I have deep respect; she has never left Iraq, has survived and persevered through all of the challenges. She continues her activism and her work to sustain and support the voices of women, but today I see she is giving up. "It's not only the bombing." she explains. "It's not only the lack of electricity. All of these things we got used to. It is much more about the corruption you see in the country, the lack of vision, of leadership, of something to hold us to each other, to the country. I am witnessing a country where the corruption is eating it alive and is giving a chance to militias to destroy it even further. I think I have hit my limit." I can hear the defeat in her voice; so few of the older, educated, middle class women are holding on-I have the deepest respect for the integrity and the dedication of those who do.

My friend's daughters were listening to our conversation at lunch. Eagerly, they peppered me with questions intended to confirm their mother's stories of a less conservative time where women moved freely in the public sphere: "Did you really drive to college? Is it true that most women did not wear a headscarf? Is it true that most girls did not get married until they graduated from college? Is it true that most women were working?"

It broke my heart to hear their questions, for I realized that there is a whole generation of women and men who don't even remember that this era of freedom and stability ever existed. My friend's daughters are part of the privileged class. They are going to university and not questioning their rights to do so. But there are many girls their age from different sectors of society who are not even going to school, and hence are growing up illiterate.

I leave my lunch to visit one of the participants in Women for Women International's program, one of the millions of widows in Iraq. Her husband was killed on a Friday afternoon as she was preparing lunch in the kitchen.

He was playing with their sons. They heard an explosion outside. When they ran out to see what happened, a missile landed on him, killing him instantly and injuring all four sons. "My life was changed in a second from a happily married woman to a widow, a poor woman, with no support whatsoever," she explains. I asked her if anybody besides Women for Women International is helping her, and I was surprised by her answer: "Poverty has changed much of our culture," she says. "My in-laws told me they are too poor to help me and my four sons. My own parents told me the exact same thing. So I had no hope but to manage on my own. I taught myself basic nursing techniques to save money on my kids' medical needs after each surgery they had to undergo to correct damage caused by the explosion. I sold all that I had to open a mini store in front of the house where my kids and I work so we can earn some living. With Women for Women's help I now have a job as a candle maker."

I finally decide to return home. As with every drive, there are tens of check points where the soldiers are holding a machine to check if the car has a bomb or not. You are also not supposed to use your cell phone when passing the check point-a rule that I forgot and was quickly reminded of by the inspecting soldiers. They asked me to get out of the car and go to the women's check point to be checked. I walked calmly to one room by the side road where there is a woman sitting inside, waiting to body search women sent by the soldiers outside. I try to start a light-hearted conversation: "Why bother to search women; it is the men in this country who are causing all the trouble." I say this with a light tone, only to be surprised and informed of another reality of Iraqi women: "No sister," she tells me with a sad face. "Many women are suicide bombers these days. Just the other day, two women exploded themselves in front of the mosque, on two separate occasions. I still don't know what to make out of these women," she says. I don't either. I leave the check point with a teary eye at the pain of the country and what it is witnessing from its men and women. Another sandstorm makes its way through the city one more time. I can see it in the distance, taking over the green that once surrounded the city, trees and flowers.

Another kind of sandstorm seems to be overtaking the pained hearts of Iraqi women, blocking out the sun over the entire country. I better go inside-maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe women will once again have the strength to keep themselves, their families and their nation going. They are in need of a new reality. The world must support them. We must stand strong with our Iraqi sisters.

Where Are Iraqi Women Today?