WUNRN
Women's Feature Service
India - New Delhi
Canada - Divorce Challenges for South Asian Women
Importance
of Knowing Legal & Financial Rights
By Naunidhi Kaur
After a difficult pregnancy her husband
asked her to move out of the house with their two-month-old daughter. A rich
businessman, who could afford a BMW car and all inclusive vacations to
Guneet's husband is paying her $350 per
month, which does not even cover the childcare fees of $970 she pays for her
daughter each month. "I have moved in with my parents and put them under
financial strain," she says with tears in her eyes. "He asked for
joint custody after he came to know that he would have to pay less in child
support," she adds. In the initial separation papers, Guneet's husband had
given up his rights of custody for the child.
What goes against Guneet is the fact
that in six years of marriage she did not have a joint bank account with her
husband, did not make any investment in mutual funds for her retirement and the
house that her husband purchased - with the dowry cash she got - legally
belongs to him and her in-laws. "I was always been kept in the dark about
financial decisions, as my in-laws and husband controlled everything," she
says.
Throughout her marriage, Guneet's
parents kept sending her money, which she deposited in her savings account.
"Because of those savings I am not even entitled to legal aid," she
informs. Legal Aid, an independent but publicly-funded and publicly-accountable
non-profit corporation, helps people with low-income access legal help.
"Now I am finding it hard to pay the legal fees to fight for the right to
my daughter," she says. Guneet's husband had not allowed her to work and
now she is forced to look for minimum-waged job to support herself and her
daughter.
Guneet's predicament is similar to that
of many women who are contemplating divorce or going through it in
Lawyer Kavita Bhagat, based in
The implications of financial strains
are multifarious. "For women, divorce is not only about moving into a
cheaper apartment and letting go of some of the so-called luxuries in life. It
is about the stress that follows from being pushed into new roles after the
divorce," emphasises Zarina Sherazee, Manager, Family, Health and Volunteer
Development at South Asian Family Support Services (SAFSS). A
Some of their new roles include being a
financial planner, disciplinarian and the breadwinner of the family.
"Instead of two incomes the woman has to survive on one. So earlier if she
was meeting all the requirements of her children now she has to pinch corners
to spare cash for them and when she says no, she has to face some resentment
from the children as well. Other times she has to move in with her parents or
friends. Often this experience translates into feeling like an outsider in the
surrogate household," she reveals.
What makes the situation difficult for many South Asian women is the fact that they are not aware of their legal and financial rights.
In her practice, Kavita regularly come
across cases in which women have fled from their abusive partner without even
charging him for abuse. By law, an assaulted wife has to charge her husband
within 90 days of the battering. "But most women have little information
of their legal rights and are not educated on getting the help available to
them," she says. As a result, divorce settlements are often lengthy, and
not in their favour. To change this, Kavita inevitably goes beyond providing
legal help to the women by getting them in touch with women shelters,
counsellors, government housing and even fighting their case pro-bono.
Aside from the changed family dynamics,
other factors often complicate matters. Spouses can get caught in the
immigration process, complicating matters for them. Many times the abusive
husband withholds his wife's immigration papers and controls her movements.
Vancouver, British Columbia-based not-for-profit group, the BC Institute
Against Family Violence, reports that immigrant women sponsored by their
husbands are particularly vulnerable to abuse or intimidation because of fears
of having their sponsorships withdrawn.
According to immigration laws, husbands
who sponsor their wives' immigration are in-charge of them for three years
during which time they have to financially support them. During this time, many
abusive husbands make sure that the wife has no control over the finances. The
dowries that these women bring inevitably go towards the down-payment of a
house where the wife is not even acknowledged as a property holder. For such
women, divorce is even more challenging, as they are caught in the vortex of
immigration problems, as well as dealing with a failed marriage.
However, Zarina emphasises that not all
aspects of divorce go against women. After the divorce women often end up being
stronger persons, who are aware of their varied abilities. "This is
because divorce forces them to tighten their belts and face the world on their
own," she says. Women identify their strengths and find employment or even
start building their skills by honing their academic knowledge to get ahead in
their careers. According to Zarina, the important thing is that women need to
give themselves time to heal after a divorce.
Says Zarina, "You can mourn the
death of your husband. Similarly you can mourn change in your life because of
divorce. In my experience, it takes anything from seven months to a year to
move towards a new life."
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