Iraq - Mixed
Religious Sect Marriages Survive Conflict
Couples from different Muslim sects continue
to marry despite sectarian tensions.
By Hazim al-Shara in Baghdad (ICR No. 271, 24-Sep-08)
After five years of waiting, Sunni Turkman Mohammed Ali
was very happy to finally marry his fiancé and college friend Ahmed Ahmed, a
Shia.
The marriage, which took place on August 21, had been postponed due to
resistance from the groom’s father, who for some time was opposed to their
union as he thought their different religious backgrounds might come between
them.
The two – who finally became engaged three months ago – were also unable to
meet for a year during their courtship because the sectarian violence in the
country was so intense.
Dressed in a new suit, Ali, 30, looked to his bride sitting next to him in
her white gown.
He said that at the height of the bloodshed, he doubted whether he would be
able to marry Ahmed. But, he continued, he was not prepared to consider
anyone other her, “despite my father’s insistence [at the time] that mixed
marriages are bound to fail”.
The couple first met at college and soon fell in love. Ali at first hid his
father’s opposition to their relationship from Ahmed and only told her once
he had changed his mind, leaving them free to marry.
“I succeeded in convincing my father, who thought that increasing sectarian
violence proved his theory,” said Ali.
Ahmed's family was not opposed to the marriage – their only concern was that
their daughter should find a good husband to provide a decent life for her.
Iraqi law prohibits mentioning a citizen’s religion in official documents,
which makes it hard to come up with a figure for mixed marriages. Once
commonplace in Iraq, sectarian tensions have complicated such unions, but not
put a halt to them.
Married to a Sunni for 30 years, Sameera al-Mosawi, a Shia who heads the
family, woman, and child parliamentary committee, said, “They (marriages
between Sunni and Shia) have not disappeared in spite of militias’ control of
the capital’s neighbourhoods.”
Sectarianism is not an inherent part of Iraqi society, said al-Mosawi, who
belongs to the Iraqi United Alliance – the biggest Shia bloc in parliament.
“Despite their cruelty, the gunmen could not force Iraqis to hate each other
because of their beliefs,” she said.
The badly ventilated hall in the suburb of Karrada – a majority Shia area in
southeastern Baghdad – where Ali and Ahmed celebrated their marriage was
filled with the relatives and friends of the couple, belonging to different
Muslim sects and ethnic groups.
The guests danced the Dabka – a traditional Arab dance, where each person
holds the hands of the one next to him or her.
Ahmed, 25, rubbed beads of sweat from her forehead.
“[I feel] as if I am in a dream,” she said. “Everyone advised me to forget
about marrying a person from a different religious group.”
Ahmed explained the difficulties experienced by the couple during their
courtship. The neighbourhoods in her area had been partitioned into Sunni and
Shia sections, meaning the couple were unable to see each other for a whole
year. “We stayed in touch over the internet and with our cell phones,” she
said.
As the wedding celebrations drew to a close, Sunni friends and relatives
started leaving the hall first because their neighbourhoods are still heavily
policed by American and Iraqi forces.
“I have to go early because parts of my neighbourhood are still unstable, as
there are some gunmen there,” said Khalid Jamal, from the largely Sunni area
of Ameriya.
At the end of the party, all the remaining guests gathered outside to congratulate
the couple, and waited for a car to take them to Ali's house in the
al-Khadraa neighbourhood, which has a Sunni majority.
The newlyweds will stay with Ali’s family. While they would previously have
had concerns about bringing Ahmed to live in a Sunni area, improved security
in the capital meant they were no longer worried.
“A year ago, it would have been difficult to bring the Shia wife of my son to
our neighbourhood, but conditions are getting better as a result of military
operations,” said Ali's father.
Flicking his worry beads, he said that he would not interfere in his son’s
life any more, “I will not ask him which sect his sons will belong to. I hate
sectarianism.”