WUNRN
Australia
- Polygamous Marriages: Multiple Reactions
By Neena Bhandari
Sydney (Women's Feature Service) - Aamina was 27 when she married Ayoub to
become his second wife in Tripoli, Lebanon. While Aamina viewed her marriage as
something that fate had ordained, the family's decision to migrate to Australia
meant that Ayoub had to divorce his first wife, as polygamous marriages are not
legally recognised in Australia.
Like Ayoub, who ensured that his first wife was sponsored to Australia by their
son, there are Muslim men from countries such as Egypt, Jordan and Sudan, who
have migrated with more than one wife, but their multiple marriages don't have
the legal sanction in their adopted country.
The issue of polygamous marriages is causing a furore in the country with the
government categorically stating that polygamy shall remain forbidden. However,
some Muslim leaders argue that such marriages exist and should be recognised on
cultural and religious grounds to protect the rights of women.
Recently, two senior leaders of the Islamic community in Sydney called on the
government to recognise polygamous marriages, or men marrying more than one
woman, in order to protect the rights of women in such marriages.
One of the most vocal advocators of changing the Australian law to accommodate
the multiple marriages is Keysar Trad, the president of the Islamic Friendship
Association of Australia, who grew up in a home with a mother and stepmother.
"There was nothing out of the ordinary in our extended family. My mother
and my stepmother were best of friends. Even though a polygamous marriage was
not the norm, the Lebanese society even in the 1960s was very
open-minded," recalls Trad.
"My father's first wife was ill and could not look after their five
children when he married my mother. For the children my mother was a godsend
and they addressed her as 'khaala', or maternal aunt, and made her feel
tremendously appreciated and respected," he says, "It's a solution
that our faith offers to social problems."
As marriages in the 21st century go beyond the traditional to encompass de
facto relationships and recognition of gay and lesbian alliances, some are
arguing for polygamous marriages to be protected and granted equal rights under
the law.
According to Sheikh Khalil Chami of the Islamic Welfare Centre in Sydney's
Lakemba suburb, polygamous marriages, although illegal, exist in Australia. He
reveals that he has been asked almost weekly to conduct polygamous religious
ceremonies. But while he refuses, he knows there are 'imams' (clerics) who do
not.
Those seeking legalisation of polygamy cite that in traditional indigenous
Aboriginal communities in Australia's Northern Territory, unofficially, such
marriages exist and that these relationships are even recognised when the
government grants welfare benefits.
In fact, in February this year, the United Kingdom ruled that it would grant
welfare benefits to all spouses in a polygamous marriage, if the marriages had
taken place in countries where polygamy is legal. Nearly 1,000 men are said to
be living legally with multiple wives in Britain.
Polygamy is also common in Indonesia, but remains a controversial lifestyle
choice. In the United States, polygamous sects such as the Mormons and
practicing polygamists have conflicts with the law constantly.
"For religious men, polygamy essentially protects them from committing
adultery. Adultery in Islam is strictly prohibited. If a man decides to have a
sexual relationship with another woman, he has to marry her. In countries like
Saudi Arabia, where polygamy is legalised, adultery or extra marital affair is
rare," says Faten Dana, 45, President, Muslim Welfare Association of
Australia.
"In Australia, one of the benefits of legalising polygamous marriages
would be that men would openly talk about their relationships rather than under
the garb of secrecy. Making these relationships formal will also grant the
women and children in such relationships certain rights as men would have
obligations and responsibilities towards them," says Dana, who migrated to
Australia from Lebanon 19 years ago.
In 2006, there were 114,222 registered marriages, but there is no figure for
polygamous marriages. The author of 'Islam: Its Law and Society', Jamila
Hussain says, "The origin of polygamy dates back to the early days of
Islam, to the battle of Uhud, when many men were killed. Men marrying more than
one woman was a social welfare measure, ensuring that widows and fatherless
children were looked after, as during those days there was no government social
support system."
Citing similar situations that still exist, Hussain explains, "If we look
at the massacres of men in Srebernica and Bosnia, polygamy can be justified on
the grounds of providing material and emotional support for the women left
behind. However, polygamy is and was never meant to be an excuse for men to indulge
their sexual fantasies. Some men over the years have abused this right and
maintained harems, but that doesn't affect the original rule which imposes a
restriction of a maximum of four wives to be treated equally."
Hussain further adds, "In Australia there is a great deal of hypocrisy.
The government recognises de facto relationships as legal. According to some
estimates, as many as 75 per cent Australians are living in de facto
relationships, which has become normal and acceptable. Even married men may be
living in de facto relationships and, in some cases, in more than one de facto
relationship. These are perfectly legal - no fuss. There is also a push for
homosexual relationships to be legalised. But there is an outcry if Muslims
want to marry more than once."
"A polygamous marriage is like any other marriage with trials and
tribulations. It is not always a burden for women. In the current scenario,
given the rise of HIV and STDs, in any sexual relationship one must tread with
caution," says Hussain, a lecturer in Islamic Law at the University of
Technology, Sydney.
The Qur'an allows Muslim men to have four wives as long as they can support and
treat them equally. However, evidence shows that polygamous men cannot always
adequately and equitably feed, shelter, educate, and emotionally cherish all
their spouses and dependents.
The Australian Muslim population, at 340,400 or 1.7 per cent of the total
population, is noteworthy for its diversity in terms of ethnicity, national
origins, language, and class and not all in the community want polygamy to be
sanctioned by law. The National Imams Council says, "As Australian Muslims
we recognise that the Marriage Act 1961 prohibits polygamy and we are not
proposing any changes to this law."
The government is in no mood to take a liberal view on the issue. Australia's
Attorney-General Robert McClelland says, "There is absolutely no way that
the government will be recognising polygamist relationships. They are unlawful
and they will remain as such. Under Australian law, marriage is defined as the
union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others. Polygamous marriage
necessarily offends this definition."
But what do the ordinary Muslim women have to say on this issue. Safiya Husain,
75, who migrated to Australia in 1981, feels polygamous marriages are not in
the interest of women and children. She says, "In the times we live today,
no man can treat all his wives equally. The women in such relationships can
never be happy. The worst affected are the children."
Silma Ihram, an Anglo-Australian convert to Islam and one of the pioneers of
Muslim education in Australia, believes most women are smart, educated,
financially independent and don't want such relationships.
Courtesy: Women's Feature Service
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