WUNRN
ICRC - International Committee of
the Red Cross
28-02-2008
Women
and the Missing: The Burden of Those Left Behind in War & Conflict
On
the occasion of International Women’s Day (8 March), Florence Tercier, ICRC’s
women and war adviser, explains the immensely challenging plight of women whose
male relatives have gone missing in war and what the ICRC is doing to support
them.
Women
and the Missing
First
click to Website Link and then to chosen subsite:
· Living
between hope and despair - photo gallery
· Women and War
- brochure
Florence Tercier, ICRC's women
and war adviser.
Women
all over the world face great hardship when their male relatives go missing in
war. Can you describe some of the challenges they face?
Tens of thousands, or perhaps even hundreds of thousands of women in the world
have lost track of a son, father or husband in an armed conflict. Some of them
have been notified unambiguously of his death and have been able to hold a
funeral for him. But unfortunately many live in the uncertain hope that their
loved one might still be alive and, even after many years have passed, they
refuse to believe that the person is dead unless they receive genuine
confirmation. This distressing uncertainty prevents them from accepting reality
and performing rites enabling them to mourn the death of a close relative. This
situation can have very serious psychological consequences for the people
concerned and a considerable impact on their daily lives, especially when the
reaction of their social environment is inappropriate.
The disappearance of a husband, father or son is not only an emotional shock;
the missing person is often the family's main breadwinner, or the sole owner of
marital property. Women are therefore left destitute, ill prepared and hardly
trained to take his place. Although the wife of a missing person experiences
the same problems as those encountered by a widow, her difficulties are
exacerbated by the fact that very often her husband’s status – and hence her
own status and that of her children – is not officially recognized. In the
absence of a death certificate these women are not generally entitled to the
financial and practical assistance given to widows. Their right to administer
property, to inherit, to have custody of their children and to receive
benefits, as well as their prospects of remarriage, are jeopardized.
Depending on their own resourcefulness and the support they receive from their
family and their community, some manage to overcome these difficulties and to
find the help they need in order to cope with the situation. This is the case
of Olja in Serbia who, thanks to her training, was able to write and publish
the diary she wrote after her husband had vanished, thus echoing the experiences
of missing persons’ families (see feature).
But I have also met women in Nepal, especially those from lower castes, whose
husbands were missing and who were living in great poverty. These women went
about their daily tasks, but they had lost their reason to live, their status
in the community, their family belongings (which had been taken back by their
parents-in-law) and any prospect of a better future, because they could never
remarry. They had blank expressions and seemed to be frozen in an interminable
waiting attitude, as if they had been drained of any feelings.
It must be remembered that the impact of disappearances is felt not only by the
persons directly concerned, but by families, communities and the whole of
society.
A woman showing photos of her missing son.
© ICRC / ru-e-00501
What kind of support do these women need?
These
women need – and above all they are entitled – to know what has become of their
loved one and everything must be done to help them in this respect, by enabling
them to declare the disappearance of their relative, by explaining procedures
to them, by supporting the steps they take to obtain aid, by informing them
about the various stages of the process for tracing their missing relative, by
assisting them throughout the process but especially at extremely trying times
such as during registration of ante mortem data, the identification of
mortal remains or the announcement of bad news.
Not only has a close relative disappeared, but these women may also be
experiencing, or have experienced, a conflict situation giving rise to other
traumatic events such as displacement or threats to their life and physical
violence. They must therefore be given support tailored to their needs; it is
primarily up to the authorities of the State directly concerned to meet these
women’s specific practical, financial, psychological and legal needs. Associations
and family networks can likewise play a major role by providing these women and
their community with collective support and by exerting pressure on
politicians.
What is the ICRC doing to help women who are suffering the long-term
consequences of a near relative going missing?
All too often the parties to a conflict make little effort to shed light on the
fate of persons who have been reported missing and to help their families. The
ICRC, acting on behalf of the victims and their families, tries to persuade the
relevant authorities to fulfil their obligations in this respect.
The ICRC frequently has to register information about missing persons and to
conduct active searches in the place of the authorities, but it always asks the
authorities to hold inquiries (and, if necessary, to set in motion exhumation
and identification processes), to inform families and to return the mortal
remains of the deceased once they have been identified.
In order to place missing persons' wives in a better legal position, the ICRC
issues certificates which they can produce in order to obtain welfare
assistance or compensation.
In the Balkans, the ICRC has published a particularly useful guide for women
which informs them of all the legal and administrative procedures they have to
follow in order to obtain support from the authorities after the disappearance
of their husband or other member of their family.
When necessary, the ICRC can offer women not only psychological support but
also ad hoc material assistance if they are in a precarious situation after the
head of the household has gone missing. It can also sometimes provide
individual psychiatric treatment, if it is needed.
Finally, the ICRC supports women who found associations or groups in order to
strengthen their action vis-à-vis the authorities, to find mutual comfort and
encouragement and to band together to overcome security concerns and the
cultural or social barriers in their path.
What more can be done to help women when a close relative has gone missing
and to shed light on this person’s fate?
The
lack of political will on the part of the authorities concerned and a shortage
of resources frequently prevent women from satisfying their legitimate need to
know what has happened to their loved one. It is therefore correct to say that
more must be done to support women who struggle every day with financial, legal
and psychological difficulties and to assist them in their search for
information about the fate of the missing person and in their quest for justice.
This is the duty of the authorities, backed up if necessary by non-governmental
organizations and the ICRC.
But above all more must be done to prevent enforced disappearances. To this
end, the ICRC deploys numerous activities in the thick of armed conflicts. When
members of a family have lost contact with one another because normal
communications have broken down, the ICRC offers them the possibility of
getting back in touch by means of the Red Cross and Red Crescent family news
network, by sending and receiving Red Cross messages, by placing mobile or
satellite telephones at their disposal, or through the Internet.
When mass population displacements occur, the most vulnerable people, such as
children who have been separated from their parents, are registered as quickly
as possible and an attempt is made to trace their family. Visits to places of
detention and the registering and monitoring of detainees likewise help to
prevent disappearances. When the ICRC learns that someone has gone missing it tries
to find out the circumstances in which their family has lost contact with them
and initiates searches in all the places they might possibly be: hospitals,
prisons, camps for displaced people and places of worship.
In all the places in which it is present the ICRC regularly reminds
belligerents that they have a duty to adopt the necessary measures to prevent
disappearances and it urges them to clarify the fate of missing persons. No
effort must be spared to alleviate the anguish of the women and families who
suffer the disappearance of a loved one.
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