Afghanistan: Women are beginning to break their code of silence
and stand up for their rights.
By Gawhar Nikpai in Kabul (WP No. 15, 01-Dec-05)
Khurshid is only 15, and
the pretty young girl does not look like a rebel. But she has taken the
unprecedented step of refusing to marry the man her parents picked out for her.
Instead, she has run away from her native Baghlan province with her
boyfriend, Elias, 20, in the hopes of finding a solution in a family
court.
“I was only six months old when my father betrothed me to one of
his relatives,” she said, timidly. “I was supposed to marry him right about now.
But I didn't like him. I ran away with the boy I loved.”
Elias explained
that he had heard on the radio that the family court in Kabul can help in these
kinds of situations, so the couple have come to the capital to try and marry
without their parents’ consent.
The case is ongoing, and there is no way
of knowing what will happen. Khurshid could be forced back to her father’s
house, or even jailed for running away. While this measure would not be legal,
jails all over the country are full of young girls whose only crime is trying to
escape unwanted marriages.
“Some judges make a decision to put a girl in
prison, even though this is against the constitution,” said a lawyer in the
Kabul Family Court, who did not want to be named. “But under the law, there is
no punishment for running away, if the purpose of the escape is marriage. They
should be married by the court.”
So, if Afghanistan’s fledgling democracy
triumphs, Khurshid may be allowed to marry Elias.
In this traditional
society, it is almost unheard of for women to turn to the courts to defend their
rights. Most often, women are subjected to the rule of fathers, husbands,
brothers or even sons, with little chance of exerting their own will. But that
is starting to change, say experts.
Sima, a slender woman in her late
twenties, was only 13 when she got married. After living with her for just one
month, her husband left for Russia. Fourteen years later, he still has not come
back to her. Like Khurshid, Sima is a native of Baghlan, a province in northern
Afghanistan.
According to local tradition, Sima had to live with her
husband’s family, who, she says, were hostile and abusive to her. With the
support of family and friends, she went to the family court in Kabul and secured
a divorce.
Dressed in black traditional clothing, and with her blue burqa
thrown up to reveal her face, Sima looked very happy at the
outcome.
“Women with family problems should just ignore these abominable
traditions. They must not feel ashamed to turn to the courts,” she said
defiantly.
Her now ex-husband, Khodai Nazar, who attended the
proceedings, was less enthusiastic.
“It is against our culture and
tradition for people to get divorced,” he grumbled. “It casts shame on me and my
family.”
But Sima was able to take advantage of the law, which sets out
certain conditions for a wife to divorce her husband. If the husband has been
away for more than four years, as in Sima’s case, she can apply for an official
divorce. Also, if the husband is unable to support his wife, if he is violent,
or is disabled in some way, the wife can apply for a legal separation. But up
until now, very few women have had the courage.
“We have to endure every
kind of violence and tyranny without complaining,” said Sima. “We must not keep
quiet any more. We have to stand up for our rights.”
One judge from the
family court, who spoke in condition of anonymity, agreed that women in
Afghanistan have been victimised by traditions, many of which go against the
spirit and letter of Islam.
With the relative freedom that came after the
fall of the Taleban, things are starting to shift, said the judge, and women are
now becoming more aware of their rights. But Afghans are not ready for drastic
change.
“Democracy is new for us and we are just starting out. It should
not be misused,” he said.
Huma Sultani, head of women’s development
section at the Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission, stresses that women’s
problems stemmed from social structures.
“Women were economically
dependent on men, they had to put up with anything, otherwise they and their
children would go hungry,” she said. “So violence became part of the tradition
in our society, and there were no government bodies to defend women.”
But
increasingly human rights institutions and the media have stepped in to make
women aware of their rights. “Now women are starting to dare to stand up and
defend themselves,” said Sultani.
These gains have been largely limited
to large cities, she emphasised. In the provinces, the situation has changed
little.
Fauzia Amini, head of the legal department at the ministry of
women's affairs, says that since the fall of the Taleban her office has handled
more than 1,500 cases. Only a small number resulted in divorce, while most women
sought and received advice and mediation and were then able to carry on with
their lives.
Najiba is a young widow with two children. Her husband was
killed in an earthquake in Iran, and now her brother-in-law is trying to kick
her out of the family home, leaving her children and property behind.
She
has come to the ministry of women’s affairs on the advice of her neighbours to
try and find a solution.
"I am sure that our voice will be heard now and
that no one will be able to violate our rights," she said.
Men also come
to the ministry of women’s affairs, seeking help for what they see as the
excesses of the new democracy.
Rahmatullah, 40, is a shopkeeper in
Kabul. Leaning against a wall in the ministry, he looks bewildered about the
turn his life has taken.
“My wife demanded that I buy her a SIM card for
her mobile phone,” he said. “I told her I didn't have money right now, and would
get her one when I could. Now she's living at her mother’s house and asking for
a divorce.”
Gawhar Nikpai is a freelance journalist in Kabul.
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