WUNRN
Saudis Turn to ‘Misyar’ Marriage to Beat
Inflation
By Souhail Karam
RIYADH: Khaled never thought a form of temporary
marriage would open the door to his happily-ever-after. The 25-year-old Saudi
security guard opted to marry Zeinab, also a Saudi, through a Misyar contract —
a kind of marriage under which couples often live separately but get together
regularly.
Khaled and Zeinab are among thousands of people who choose
Misyar in this ultraconservative kingdom where contact between unrelated men and
women is forbidden and extramarital affair regarded as a grave
sin.
Misyar is allowed in Sunni Islam and it is legal in Saudi Arabia,
the birthplace of Islam and other Middle East countries. But it is traditionally
frowned upon and the fact that it leaves the wife financially vulnerable has
angered many women’s activists and intellectuals.
After years of study,
the influential Makkah-based Islamic Jurisprudence Assembly in April this year
declared that Misyar marriage was legal, angering many women’s rights’ activists
in the Gulf.
Influential Muslim cleric Youssef al-Qaradawi has given his
blessing to Misyar, but said there should be at least some form of dowry to
provide a guarantee for the wife.
“No doubt it is somehow socially
unacceptable, but there is a big difference between what is Islamically valid
and what is socially acceptable,” he recently told Al Jazeera
television.
Misyar offers an alternative to cash-strapped men who want to
avoid lavish weddings but would like a relationship, without incurring the wrath
of the morality police.
Under Misyar, the husband is not financially
responsible for his wife.
Khaled, who declined to give his full name,
admitted he wasn’t serious about commitment when he decided on
Misyar.
But now, he and Zeinab are expecting a baby together.
“I
thought let’s give it a try ... and now I feel like a hero in a romantic film,”
he said.
“Misyar reduces marriage to sexual intercourse,” said Hatoun
al-Fassi, a female Saudi historian. “For clerics to allow it is shameful for our
religion.”
In regular marriages in Saudi Arabia, men must pay for
expensive ceremonies, huge dowries and a home. If the couple divorce, he must
pay alimony and child support.
So Misyar appeals to men of reduced means,
as well as men looking for a flexible arrangement — the husband can walk away
from a Misyar and can marry other women without informing his first
wife.
Wealthy Muslims sometimes contract Misyar when on holiday to allow
them to have company of a woman without breaching the tenets of their
faith.
This vulnerability has sometimes encouraged abuses: women
sometimes act as matchmakers for less than scrupulous men on the prowl for
lonely and wealthy spinsters.
Saudi television presenter Rima al-Shamikh
said Misyar is the result of frustration among Saudi Arabia’s largely youthful
population, bound by a strict religious code but exposed to western lifestyles
through the media and Internet.
“Our young people watch the satellite
television channels. There is dissatisfaction,” she explained.
“Misyar is
a way of getting around the obstacles of marriage in Gulf
societies.”
Some scholars say Misyar was practised in the Arabian
peninsula during the early days of Islam, when men were often away for months
during battles or for trading.
The practice reappeared in the early 19th
century in Egypt, where it is known as Urfi marriage and is now very
common.
Saudi clerics say Misyar is authorised as long as it meets the
basic requirements of sharia, — consent of both parties, the blessing of the
woman’s guardian, the presence of witnesses and a state marriage
official.
Advertisements for Saudi men and women seeking Misyar marriage
abound on the Internet, recalling the “lonely hearts” columns popular in Western
newspapers.
“I am a 33-year-old Saudi man with acceptable looks seeking
to marry a Saudi virgin or a divorcee,” read one posting on a special Misyar
website. “Saudi man seeking divorcee living in Jeddah, no objection to
children,” read another.
But not all Misyar couples are in it for the
short-term. A few, like Khaled and Zeinab, find Misyar can be a first step to
something more durable.
“We got used to each other very quickly,” said
Khaled, who has been married for 18 months. “Then she got pregnant. We couldn’t
bear our situation, so we decided to live together for real, not just with
Misyar.”—Reuters
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