In modern Japan, more than 70% of all marriages are referred to as "love marriages," the rest are the more traditional arranged marriages (omiai). When an arranged marriage is desired, the man and woman, who are seeking a marriage partner, enlist the help of a go-between (nakodo). This allows the couple to meet and get to know each other and decide if a marriage is suitable. It is quite common for the parents of the man and woman to be present at the first meeting. Afterwards the couple meets socially over a period of time and then decides, if both are acceptable, to marry. This may seem a little clinical in the west, but in Japan, with its high work ethic, and large population, it is hard for some people to meet someone of the opposite sex.
Unlike matchmakers, or dating services in the west, the go-betweens are not professional matchmakers, they are usually people that like to help out of goodwill. Sometimes a go-betweens will be given a percentage (10%) of the wedding preparation money that the groom gives the bride. This money allows the bride to prepare for, and pay, all the costs of the wedding.
Are there any noticeable advantages to this system? Yes. The nakodo with his/her knowledge and familiarity with both parties can bring together couples that should be suitable. Even after the marriage the nakodo can act as a marriage counselor to help the new couple with their problems. As a result, the number of arranged marriages in Japan that fail is very small.
With "love marriages" spouses are usually selected from friends and colleges (and siblings) who work at the same business or go to the same school. This is not always easy due to the busy Japanese work schedule. ___________________________________________________________________
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4903522.stm
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Japan Pins Hopes on "Speed Dates" | ||||||
But speed dating parties, as such events are known, are proving increasingly common in many countries. In Japan, though, some are paid for by the government. The hope is that by encouraging people to date, marry and start a family, the current demographic trend leading towards a shrinking population can be arrested. It might not seem the most obvious scheme to tackle a falling birth rate, but it has proved extremely popular, and speed dating events happen across Japan every night of the week. At one event in central Tokyo, run by a firm called Exeo, 20 men and women cram into a small upstairs room in the hope of finding somebody special. Each pairing gets two minutes, before everyone swaps partners.
Some couples seem to hit off instantly, while others are shy and conversation is muted. "I don't have a girlfriend and it's difficult to meet women at work, so that's why I am here" says Hiroshi Nakahara, an office worker. "I'm embarrassed to be doing this." Love hurts Many of the people at the party seems to echo the same problems. They spend a long time in the office and so they have little time to invest in finding love. "It's becoming harder to meet suitable partners these days and that's one reason why people are getting married later," says party organiser Natsuko Minami.
"Women used to be able to rely on family introductions, such as aunts who arranged meeting a suitable man. But that's not happening much any more. Women now have to find lovers on their own." Alternatively, company bosses used to take on the role of matchmaker for their staff, although this is rare now. Furthermore, modern Japanese women are able to find well-paid careers, so their economic need for a husband is less pressing. Yet the desire for romance means that many people are willing to pay for professional help in finding a partner. Falling population And local governments in Japan are prepared to provide financial support for the businesses that organise dating events as part of its efforts to tackle what it sees as a major social problem.
The economic effects are everywhere. Schools that were once full of baby boomers are now being closed down owing to a lack of children - more than 2,000 over the past decade alone. As the population ages, more strain is being placed on the state pension system. "One of Japan's problems is that so few children are being born," says Mr Saeki, president of Exeo. "That's why the local governments are coming up with incentives to encourage people to get married and give birth. The aim of our business is to help people." ______________________________________________________________________________ | ||||||
It's difficult to meet women at work, so
that's why I am here 
