Rape is a crime that is punished severely if brought into the light; couple that with society’s disdain for the women who become victims and the shame it brings to their families, and it becomes a dirty little secret for them and a way for the rapists to escape punishment for their big, filthy crimes.

Some blame the victims for veering away from customs and traditions; it is unfortunate, however, that the attitude of blaming victims itself creates an atmosphere where no woman is safe from a rapist’s unwanted attention. It’s a problem society has to address if women are ever to be given the respect that society alleges they have.

Recently Al-Nadwa newspaper found some women courageous enough to discuss the horrors to which they were subjected, and how, in some cases, their lives have been destroyed by scoundrels who lurk in the shadows created by antiquated tradition, waiting to ruin more young lives when they get the chance.

One young woman, 19, carries this mantle of shame quietly. In her case, the rapist was the brother of her stepmother who violated her when she was only 16. The girl had no brothers to defend her, and she has never told her father of the attack because she fears that he would blame her for it.

“He used to come to our house and sexually harass me with foul language,” the victim said. “His sister saw everything and acted as if nothing happened. For many months he was harassing me and my stepmother would do nothing to stop him. She tried to humiliate me by forcing me to serve her and her brother. If I refused, she threatened that she would lie to my father about me.”

The stepmother’s cruelty gave her rapist brother an idea.

“One day, this wolf came to the house and there was no one else there,” the victim said. “He attacked me viciously, tearing off my clothes. I tried to defend myself but he was stronger than me. I passed out when he raped me. When he finished, he took pictures of me and said if I told my father then he would distribute the pictures on the Internet.”

The traumatized girl left school after the crime and isolated herself from the rest of the world. She was afraid even to meet with people, and tears became her only companion.

The rapist came back a month later and attacked her again. Now he is behind bars on drug charges, but she wonders how long she can feel safe. She also wonders if she will ever get married and if anyone would marry her if they knew of her brutalization at the hands of the rapist.

___________________________________________________________________

An abusive home can drive youngsters into the arms of those who prey on young girls. For one 29-year-old woman, the emotional scars of rape have led to three divorces and abject poverty.

“My father was drunk and abusive,” the woman said. “He used to beat my mother in front of me every day when he would come home drunk. My sisters and I couldn’t stand in front of him to stop him. Our situation got worse when my mother got sick and in the end, he divorced my mother.”

Her condition got worse as they lost their financial support. She left school at young age. She thought her suffering was over when she fell in love with a man that showed her love and compassion. That hope ended when the kind man proved to be a beast who pounced on her and raped her.

“You can blame me, kill me or shoot me. I don’t care,” she said. “I lost everything, and now my life is meaningless. I suffer alone because I am taking care of my little sisters, and I’ve been divorced three times, and I have been raped. I have no place to stay, and shame will follow me to my grave.”

Not all men blame the victims or hold it against them.

“I am a man with Eastern traditions, and a woman’s honor is the most important thing,” said Ahmad Al-Hazzazi, 34. “I wouldn’t ask about her past or whether she was raped. If I knew about it, I wouldn’t care because rape happens against a woman’s will. What I would want from her is to forget about her past and not let it affect her.”

Al-Hazzazi puts the blame on the criminal — not the victim.

“I would be angry that it happened to be sure — not angry with her but angry with the one who did it,” Al-Hazzazi said. “I wouldn’t be the executioner, but I would give her the chance to have a fresh start.”

For the women, violated and isolated, who cry themselves to sleep each night in shame and loneliness, they await a day when society will spare them the disgrace, and put both blame on the rapists and shame on the foul families from where they come. It’s one of society’s dirty little secrets — and big, filthy problems.

____________________________________________________________________