‘Spinsterhood’
Arab News - 27 April, 2006 Author: Maha
Al-Hejailan
The word “spinster” is considered an offensive
term by many Saudi girls. It implies that young girls have a date
beyond which they have expired. This expiry date is related to the
young girl’s physical characteristics which must be made use of in
order to get her married. The word is also used to exert pressure on
girls to marry; in theory, girls do not want to be called
spinsters.
Our society and others use the word in order to
describe unmarried females negatively. In different regions of the
country, especially in the north, our ancestors called a girl who
had never married “a girl of the house.” It’s a more delicate and
considerate description of an unmarried woman whatever her age. It
is clear from the term in Arabic that she has never left her
parents’ house for any other. This description indicates her social
status but it doesn’t include any reference to her age or the reason
why she has not married.
As for associating a woman’s age
with marriage, this is something that underestimates her value and
denies her individual existence. The truth is that when we consider
the age when a female is called a spinster, we find that some people
consider the girl a spinster as soon as she reaches marriageable
age. The age of marriage is from about 15 or 20 — some might say 30.
Few people consider unmarried women in their 40s to be spinsters.
The Ministry of Planning recently did a study which was published in
newspapers. The study showed the number of unmarried girls of
marriageable age in the Kingdom as 1,529,418.
People saw that
the ministry’s report relied on using the word spinster in relation
to marriageable age. This age is anything but clear since if we
consider marriage as being the age at which a girl is able to bear
children, then the marriageable age begins at puberty. And we all
know that puberty occurs in some girls as early as nine and in
others much later. On the other hand, if we consider marriageable
age in relation to the girl’s mental and psychological maturity,
then the age is even later. Yet apparently the ministry’s definition
of marriageable age is associated with child-bearing.
Judging
mental and psychological maturity is another matter and it is a
difficult one. It’s unfortunate that some young girls who haven’t
even enjoyed their childhood are categorized as spinsters. Maybe the
girl will be married at a young age and become pregnant at a time
when she is not ready to deal with, bring up or look after children.
The results can be disastrous as we can see from looking at society.
The girl has been deprived of her childhood and youth and her
children may have been deprived of a mother who was ready to care
for them and all because people fear the word
spinster.
Spinster is an apparition that we have created and
dealt with as if it were a monster when in fact, it is not.
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