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‘Spinsterhood’   

Arab News - 27 April, 2006
Author:   Maha Al-Hejailan

The word “spinster” is considered an offensive term by many Saudi girls. It implies that young girls have a date beyond which they have expired. This expiry date is related to the young girl’s physical characteristics which must be made use of in order to get her married. The word is also used to exert pressure on girls to marry; in theory, girls do not want to be called spinsters.

Our society and others use the word in order to describe unmarried females negatively. In different regions of the country, especially in the north, our ancestors called a girl who had never married “a girl of the house.” It’s a more delicate and considerate description of an unmarried woman whatever her age. It is clear from the term in Arabic that she has never left her parents’ house for any other. This description indicates her social status but it doesn’t include any reference to her age or the reason why she has not married.

As for associating a woman’s age with marriage, this is something that underestimates her value and denies her individual existence. The truth is that when we consider the age when a female is called a spinster, we find that some people consider the girl a spinster as soon as she reaches marriageable age. The age of marriage is from about 15 or 20 — some might say 30. Few people consider unmarried women in their 40s to be spinsters. The Ministry of Planning recently did a study which was published in newspapers. The study showed the number of unmarried girls of marriageable age in the Kingdom as 1,529,418.

People saw that the ministry’s report relied on using the word spinster in relation to marriageable age. This age is anything but clear since if we consider marriage as being the age at which a girl is able to bear children, then the marriageable age begins at puberty. And we all know that puberty occurs in some girls as early as nine and in others much later. On the other hand, if we consider marriageable age in relation to the girl’s mental and psychological maturity, then the age is even later. Yet apparently the ministry’s definition of marriageable age is associated with child-bearing.

Judging mental and psychological maturity is another matter and it is a difficult one. It’s unfortunate that some young girls who haven’t even enjoyed their childhood are categorized as spinsters. Maybe the girl will be married at a young age and become pregnant at a time when she is not ready to deal with, bring up or look after children. The results can be disastrous as we can see from looking at society. The girl has been deprived of her childhood and youth and her children may have been deprived of a mother who was ready to care for them and all because people fear the word spinster.

Spinster is an apparition that we have created and dealt with as if it were a monster when in fact, it is not.
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